4.40am(GMT+8)

Normally by this time, most of the human beings is already in bed including me, but it was so special to me that I just cant get in to sleep now no matter how I tried, turn left, turn right, backward, straight, one leg cross, legs make a number '4'. And now I end up making this blog infront of my comp. I hope after this i might be able to sleep../_\
Alot of thinking went through my mind when I was in the bed. There are lot of items quite excite me. One of the item is my Christian life (Please highlight it if want to continue) How I became a christian? Well, I was not a Christian when I'm born. I know Christian when I was 9 years old, because my parents first time bring me to church. At the 1st time I feel weird, uncomfortable, alot of question but don't know who to ask and thats me, I dont know but I feel that way lol. So I follow my parents, I don't feel any changes in my life that time. Everything normal nothing special going on my life. Until I get into secondary school my result is getting worst and worst as I grow up with No self-esteem, No motivation, No planings, know nothing and something serious going on in my family, Im not going to mention so deeply. That time my life is totally out of focus, I still go to church as usual on sunday, but doing nothing. When I say nothing is really nothing and my heart is empty, I'm forcing myself go to church because I've been told that it is neccesary for a christian go to church every single sunday, day by day my walks into a path full of misery. It was a hard time for me. If someone like this, books is already out of his sight, don't talk about bible. In the other hand, I try to find something to fill my emptiness, that time Im still schooling, what come first is computer games. I play alot of games, 1 days reach 10-12 hours of gaming online. Until I finish form 5, I make my own decision, stop going to church. Means I'm not a christian anymore, I feel I have alot of freedom, free from boundaries, free from being controled. Thats the first time I go to clubs and back in the early morning. I still remember my parents don't question much, I think they already give up in me. And mix around with friends everyday everynite for 6 years. So in that 6 years I know nothing except drink, girls, friends and...
That time, to me Who is Jesus? Christian is just a religion. Being a christian will bring u joy, happiness, hope and more, but what I know is all down down down and almost end. Not only that, but boring, alot of boundary lines, God's law and more. I also hate my family that time.
But things changes, I don't know how I've no idea, what I know is that something moved my heart and tells me that this is all wrong, and can be change. That time I was seeking alot of job, and a friend of my dad have a vacancy in his company, but I need to go to church, that makes me unhappy. I don't like to go to church. I was thinking the whole half month whether want to go or not. It is not an easy decision. But at last I made up my mind to meet my dad's friend, Unfortunately that place has been taken. Mayb God just want to play around with me. Few days later, that guy dint show up so my dad's friend call me up for a second interview. From that moment, there is hope in me life, actually I did made my first prayer after for a long time lol. Something told me that if I want this hope, I have to go to church and rededicate my life to Jesus. And yes, I did that not long after the 3rd month of going to church, and I change my attitute, I don't hate my family anymore instead I love them. Actually alot more to share but I'll share it some other time when it is suitable. Its not that I want show off, but if anyone found offensive please skip this post. Thanks for your time.